A Satellite Phone 

rPhone employs one of the most important innovations to emerge from the mysterious lair of the Natural Philosophers in old London: Thomas Savery's atmospheric steam engine. Compact, safe, reasonably quiet and marginally fuel-efficient, rPhone will make you the talk of the Sun King's court!

Screen size No visual display
Screen Resolution See above
Input method Rotary dial
Operating system Steam
Storage 1" brass cylinders
GGSM Galactic GSM Giga-band (GHz: 220, 221, Whatever it takes)
Wireless data 8Trk (867.5309/g)+EDGE+STING
Camera 35.0 gigapixels
Engine Charge Up to 120 hours Talk/Music/Vibrating
Up to 3 months Vibrating
Dimensions 8 x 2 x 2 inches / 203.2 x 50.8 x 50.8 mm
Weight 64 ounces/ 1814.36948 grams
Coolness Factor Off the scale