This past weekend Wicked Pete Speakeasy caught Captain Drew loitering in New Castle, leading to a nasty game of Salt, Slug, Foot between the two. Fortunately for you, it was captured on magnetic media.

While interest in piracy has skyrocketed in the last five years, the traditional pirate challenge game “Salt Slug Foot” was nearly lost to history until marine archaeologists working at the Walter Elias Marine Conservatory in Beaufort, South Carolina, raised the remains of what is believed to be the dreaded pirate ship “Farquand’s Glory” and rediscovered the original rules for the game. Though the ship contained no treasure, and much of the iron hardware had rusted away, a series of carvings was found in what is believed to have been the crew quarters belowdecks.

Shown above is a marine archaeologist’s recreation of the original art, which depicted a shaker of salt, a slug, and a foot. (Note: this is an illustration of the original artwork, not a photo of the actual carving, which was deemed too Continue Reading

Sailing between the stars is lonely work. Between me cognitively-challenged crew and my uncommunicative poo, rare is the opportunity to have meaningful conversation with living, thinking, bilaterally symmetrical bipedal beings who aren’t trying to do you, or do you in. This is why often listen to wireless chat programmes beamed into space from different planets along the space lanes I terrorize. My favorites are Blagnartz the Invincible on KZ3493 Continue Reading

Are you bored with life? Do your friends have all the fun? Are you feeling “left out” of all o’ them awesome standoffs with the Navies of your own homeworld? Well Jim m’lad, shake off them blues and sign up for Captain Drew’s new seminar series “Hijacking Ships and Taking Hostages for Fun and Profit”, coming to your town soon!

Famed space pirate Captain Drew and his esteemed colleagues (giants in their own right) will share valuable tips and time-tested techniques of acquiring previously-owned ships and leveraging their former crews for financial gain. Why stay stuck in the same backwaters you’ve been plying for years when you could really step out there and make a name for yourself?

In this lecture series you will learn:

“Shopping 101 : Finding a Ship to Suit Your Hijacking Needs”
Ships are like haypenny wenches; they’re cheap, they come in different sizes, they’re in terrible disrepair, they leak more than a bit, and some smell worse than others. More to the point, not every ship you run into is going to be Continue Reading

BREAKING NEWS - Captain Drew is holding a press conference at PiratePalooza’s corporate headquarters where he will apparently be revealing plans for a hostile takeover of the Georgia Renaissance Festival. Updates provided below in real time, just hit refresh to follow along…

7:25PM
They’re playing Coldplay over the loudspeaker system… large crowd of people… everyone seems to be Continue Reading

Do you sometimes be wondering “What be Captain Drew doing right now?” Well! Wonder no more me digital hearties, just give your boxes of blinky lights a hard turn to the right and cruise on over to the Official PiratePalooza™ Twittarrrr straight from the confused mind of the galaxy’s favorite space pirate! From derring-do to making poo, toss this space pirate in your pocket for some rollicking good times!

Hats off to our special pal Arthur (aka “Sexybeast”) just uploaded his video of PiratePalooza™ 2008 and OH ChowderMama is it a doozy!

Featuring samples of new music by Captain Dan and his Scurvy Crew (click here for more on Captain Dan’s music) and an eight minute runtime, you’re bound to see a few of your favorite pirate pals scrapin’ around the James Joyce Irish Pub. Try to name as many as you can!!

Thunder!! You could have knocked your old Captain down with a feather when a sexy, leggy lass tossed him a note tonight to let him know that Facebook.com now speaks proper English… pirate English that is. Tis sure and true enough! If you didn’t already know, clamber aboard your Facebook account, scroll all the way down to the Continue Reading

The crew of the PiratePalooza™ would like to wish an almost entirely unscurvy life of wedded bliss to Gregg and Susan of the Rambling Sailors, who were wed aboard the fine ship J.&E. Riggin early last month. Take a look at the video put together by new hubby Gregg using photos by Carol Miller and the tune “Beggars to God” by Jim Hancock. The PiratePalooza™ has been fortunate enough to have the Rambling Sailors play for us in the past and we’ll keep our fingers crossed that they be decent enough to cross our decks again some point in the future!

Avast, you squabbling marmosets!!
Here be a short time-waster for you… the ultimate chowderheaded poll of polliciousness… the “Most Favorite PiratePalooza™ T-Shirt Poll of All Time (up to and including 2008)”. Which shirt be your favorite? Feel free to answer why in the Continue Reading

While I still be waiting to hear if any of you hull-beaters hobbled away with video from PiratePalooza™ 2008 with video of the cursed pubcrawl/concert, I have some intriguing new video of them dumpster-diving bastards, the cardboard troopers, what always be chasing me and me crew. As best I can tell, it seems those loons infiltrated some sort of girlie show for a fellow in a top hat. Perhaps this will make more sense to you lot.

UPDATE!!
The files are beginning to flow in now. Keep an eye tuned to this site for even more photos and videos as they arrive. Check out the ultra-keen slideshow over on our Flickr pool or else browse the pool manually. Thanks go to all of you Photo Pirates for your wonderful shots from this year’s PiratePalooza™ - you’ve made us look far better than we actually do in real life!! Now we can relive the fun all over again and share the experience with those who were unable to attend.

(Photo by Tempest Fae)

Did you snap a photo or two at this year’s PiratePalooza™??
Perhaps a bit of video for YouTube?

If so, we’d love to see your shots… send us a link! Those photographers among you who are already members of our Flickr Group called “PiratePalooza” are encouraged to upload your photos and add them to the group as soon as the effects of Saturday night’s Palooza wear off.

We’ve already lowered our skiff to the chop below and the men are climbing aboard… in less than two hours the city of Decatarrrr shall fall beneath our boots and steel and unending thirst for blood and rum. Beware lubbers, the PiratePalooza is UPON YOU, even now.

Remember, the Palooza Pubcrawl goes through Decatarrr again this year, but it ends at the James Joyce in Avondale Estates this time. If you happen to drop in upon the Comers over at The Grange do buy a drink, give ‘em our best then beat it quick out to Avondale for the Palooza!!

Hello new person with a real (or nearly real) sword. Here’s a little game that we developed for your idiot-enriched world. It’s called “peace binding” or “peace bonding” or “peace bounding” or “tying your fracking sword to your fracking belt so that you won’t do something fracking Darwinian and spoil our fricking-fracking fun”.

This is the safety policy of PiratePalooza, modeled after the rules of Anime Los Angeles. By attending this event you are bound to this agreement.

PiratePalooza believes that most humans are idiots and have survived up to this point in their lives by some insane miracle of chemistry, upbringing, charm and/or luck, and that you could snap at any moment…. which is why Public Safety outweighs any other consideration and it is with this in mind that these policies have been formed.

All real and replica (ie, realistic in appearance) edged weapons including swords and knives must be peace-bound during PiratePalooza. This means that these items will be secured to your belt or to your clothing using locking plastic strips often referred to as “wire ties”. Afterward, in the privacy of your own cabin, you may remove these wire ties using a pair of scissors or snipping pliers.

No real or replica weapons may be drawn from a scabbard or sheath at any point during PiratePalooza unless part of an approved performance. No real or realistic weapons may be brandished or wielded in a public area. Keep your sword on your hip. Keep your flintlock in its bucket or tucked into your belt.

We ask you to exercise good judgement.

If your weapon is not peace-bound, we will gladly perform the service for you at no cost. Failure to submit to peace-tying is grounds for immediate expulsion from the bar and possible summons of local police. Don’t think that we won’t wave to you like cold-hearted pirates as officers of the law escort you to your rendezvous with fate.

Note:
Dealers who sell weapons must secure each item at the point of sale and provide each customer with a printed copy of these rules.