PiratePalooza Pirate updates, pirate news and pirate stories from the world of PiratePalooza.

As a right amount of furious clamor from prior postings have determined: most of you Earth lubbers seem well abashed of the art of Captain Drew’s pirate planet, namely Poop Poetry. As such, I shall be hiding the bulk of my latest treasure beneath the cut. So, if you be not sure that you’ve an ear for the high art of the space pirates, take in just a sample of this latest masterpiece. If you love it, click on through for the rest. Me? I be flush with success.

The Little Brown What Would Not Flush
a pram by Captain Drew

I have a poop which will not flush
no matter what I do

It peers at me from ‘neath the ledge
whatever shall I do?

I flush
it goes

I turn around
it pops back Continue Reading

Them boggers over at Los Angeles Magazine have dug up a real fine firsthand account from one of the buggers what dress up like the popular film pirate Captain Jack Sparrow at the Disney theme parks. Turns out that portraying the world’s most popular movie pirate be nearly as close to working as a Santa Claus at the local shopping mall as you could ever imagine, the exception being that instead of being peed upon by screaming kneebiters you’re subjected to girls dry-humping your leg…. which is of course awesome. Unfortunately, the job also involves being subject to the laws of the Disney Empire. Think you’ve got what it takes? Read all about it on LAmag.com!!

Hostilities between Earth and Mars continues unabated with this evening’s news of yet another alien lander being deposited on the surface of the peaceful world of Mars. The latest invasion is reportedly being led by a reconnaissance robot known as the “Phoenix Mars Lander”, rumored to have advanced “measuring” and “scooping” technologies dedicated to the subjugation of the arctic plains on the formerly serene fourth planet of the Sol system. According to Earth’s space-based naval organization, NASA, their campaign planners are “proud” and “excited” about this latest invasion, seeing it as the precursor to a larger invasion by 2,000 pound roving brutes bent on conquest and the Continue Reading

The folks what be behind the Atlanta Pirates & Wenches Meet-Up Group have floated a message my way and asked me to pass it along to all you scurvy dogs what follows me blog thingy. They’d like you to join them down to the Euclid Avenue Yacht Club to raise a pint or twelve before tryin’ to rustle some Continue Reading

Planning already be under way for the 2008 Pirate Party at Dragon*Con... which be some sort of heathen jamboree what happens in downtown Atlantarrr every Septembarrr (scant weeks before me PiratePalooza™ Pubcrawl). With the help o’ Cap’n Sparrow I crashed into this rowdy congregation of pirates last year and were supremely impressed with the effort what went into it, not to mention the dancin’, the singin’, the rum, the ample corsetry and a wide range of space aliens from back around me own homestar. No wonder that fire marshall feller were so hot to keep it in check, it were a hootenany to be sure! So, if you’re plannin’ to attend this year’s event you need to know that the scurvy seadogs behind the event have erected a web doodle for to keep all of you rogues and privateers apprised of their every move.

I hope to be there again this year, though I plan on drinking much less Old Spice by accident. Pblblblbtt!!!

The Lady Wispa writes in to say that Atlanta Pirates and Wenches Guild be encouraging all able-bodied (and differently-hooked) pirates, seadogs, sundogs, sunspots, spotdogs and spatboys to join them at the Euclid Avenue Yacht Club at (or about) 6:30pm on Saturrrday, February 9th for a FULL GARB MeetUp event scheduled so closely to February the 14th that you might as well think of it as “Pirate Valentines”.

Your favorite space pirate (namely me, not Captain Harlock (I hope)) attended the “Pirate Christmas” hosted by the AP&WG and it was a very, very satisfactory event. I mean, how often are the normal sidewalk rats along Little Five Points out-weirded? Surely, the opportunity to taunt emo skatepunks is worth the price of admission??? (which I should point out is free, as I understand it… though you’re liable for your own grog dealins with the Yacht Club’s Pub Wenches).

If you insist on paying an admission fee you should crawl around the deck until you find me and I’ll gladly relieve you of your loose change, bras or pantaloons. It’s what space pirates do at Pirates Valentine!!1