On Saturday, Septembarrrr 19th, 2009, Captain Drew and his pirate horde descended upon the unsuspecting Port of Decatarrrr for the fifth time in as many years, intent on razing it to the ground… beginning with its supply of rum and ale. THIS be their tale (complete with photographs)….

In the early hours of the afternoon the first wave of invaders infiltrated Fort Twain and gave it a right good thumping before clambering up the Church Street, turning west at Ponce De Leon’s fountain of ale, and marching up toward the Continue Reading

We’ve kept it secret for as long as we could, but with less than a week before the Palooza, it’s time to announce the entertainment line-up for the 5th Annual PiratePalooza Pub Sing, scheduled to begin at 6:30pm, Saturday, September 19th, at the James Joyce Pub in Avondale Estates, Georgia.

The Brigadoon Bombshells – the evening’s entertainment will begin with this harmonious group of wenches with dangerous curves and hoppin’ harmonies!

Tenpenny Traveler – a stockpot full of sea chanties and authentic sailing songs will have your toes a-tapping!

Joni Minstrel – a legendary protest singer who’s always causing problems wherever she goes. No doubt she’ll be plotting a mutiny of this year’s Palooza if we’re not careful!

Syrens of the South – a wiggly, jiggly bunch of burlesque wenches to tempt you sea dogs what have been sailing too long.

The Lost Boys – these kilted lads in teal do make the women squeal, and it’s rumored that they invented Rock music.

Three Quarter Ale – straight from the Georgia Renaissance Festival, we are likely to experience this popular trio as a duo this year, as it’s rumored that Wicked Pete Speakeasy is afraid that Captain Drew will challenge him to another game of Salt Slug Foot.

Wine, Woman & Song – this group, led by your Pub Mistress Naughty Nellie Peachbottom, performs some great traditionals and will lead you into the final Pub Sing at the end of the night. Don’t miss it!

(photo credits: Syrens of the South by Jilly McJillerson, Tenpenny Travelers by Tenpenny Travelers, Brigadoon Bombshells by Brigadoon Bombshells, all others by Michael Aident)

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BREAKING NEWS – Today Captain Drew announced in a press conference at PiratePalooza’s corporate headquarters that he will be teaming with the internet giant Google in a effort to increase awareness of Google’s newest service “Google Voice” and to spur adoption of Captain Drew’s steam-powered rPhone™. Visitors to PiratePalooza.com will now be able to leave messages for the Captain via a handy Google Voice widget in the site’s sidebar, directly below an advertisement for the Captain’s rPhone™ (as featured in the infamous YouTube video “Dairy Wench”).

In what has been described as “the most confrontational press conference since Steve Jobs threw a camera at an intern” Captain Drew rambled for 35 minutes before relieving himself off the front of the stage into a trendy messenger bag carried by one of the reporters. In a fleeting moment of clarity the Captain explained:

“Well I heard tell that there be this incredible [unintelligible] net thing… and that this here Gooble bunch think that they know how to make money from this net [unintelligible] so I aims to get my [expletive] hands on their Gooble booty before any other deck sprawlers lay wind of it. Gooble Gooble Gooble Gooble Gooble Gooble Gooble Gooble Gooble Gooble Gooble Gooble Gooble Gooble Gooble Gooble Gooble Gooble…..”

The Captain’s speech went on for another 8 minutes before he curled up underneath the lectern and went to sleep.

A technology reporter from WIRED magazine was heard to say “Dudes… don’t expect Gooble to team with Captain Drew anytime soon on [their next product] ‘Google Wave‘… hey, did somebody spill a drink on my bag??”

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This past weekend Wicked Pete Speakeasy caught Captain Drew loitering in New Castle, leading to a nasty game of Salt, Slug, Foot between the two. Fortunately for you, it was captured on magnetic media.

Sailing between the stars is lonely work. Between me cognitively-challenged crew and my uncommunicative poo, rare is the opportunity to have meaningful conversation with living, thinking, bilaterally symmetrical bipedal beings who aren’t trying to do you, or do you in. This is why often listen to wireless chat programmes beamed into space from different planets along the space lanes I terrorize. My favorites are Blagnartz the Invincible on KZ3493 Continue Reading

BREAKING NEWS – Captain Drew is holding a press conference at PiratePalooza’s corporate headquarters where he will apparently be revealing plans for a hostile takeover of the Georgia Renaissance Festival. Updates provided below in real time, just hit refresh to follow along…

7:25PM
They’re playing Coldplay over the loudspeaker system… large crowd of people… everyone seems to be Continue Reading